I was recently asked to record a video talk for a group of teenagers/young adults on the topic of ‘self-esteem and insecurity’. While preparing for the talk, I realised that the issue of insecurity is not peculiar to teens and young adults alone.
In today’s society, there is a lot more awareness of these issues being prevalent across all age groups and social spheres. Although there may be instances where we all deal with temporary insecurities resulting from specific events or situations in our lives, this is not the reference point of this blog. My focus is not on situations, for example, where someone gets mugged and develops a temporary insecurity about their sense of safety. No. My focus is on incidents where insecurity has developed beyond the temporarily into a normal state of being.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
While this is very real, I see insecurity as the product of something else and not a source of the problem. In my talk, I gave an analogy to explain this. Some years ago, we had this beautiful garden which had one minor problem: somewhere around the middle of the garden was this very stubborn weed.
It grew faster and more imposing than the grass with its prickly edges. My husband cut it a few times, but it grew right back, almost faster than it was cut down. After a few too many repetitions of this vicious cycle, he decided to dig into the earth and remove the root completely. This process took time.
The roots were deeper than we imagined and had spread underneath the soil. When the process was finally complete, he treated the soil and planted some new grass—that was final goodbye.
The process should be the same when dealing with insecurity. Attacking the weed (the insecurity) only offers temporary relief, but dealing with the root brings about transformation. The root of insecurity is found in IDENTITY.
The present-day increase in identity crises is alarming. People find their identity in their successes, their marriage, their jobs, their family, their connections, their social class, where they go on holiday and how often they go on holidays, the list goes on. My question to you would be: Who are you without these things? Are these the things that define you? Is this where you derive your identity from? What happens if there is a shift in any of these things? Do you then become somebody else or cease to exist?
Oh don’t get me wrong, having a good marriage, job, family or whatever good thing you have going for you is great (and that is how it should be), but these are all simply facts about you and not who you are. To deal with the issue of identity correctly, we have to refer to the manufacturer’s manual—the Bible. How can we function at full capacity as humans if we don’t discover who we are meant to be. Remember, the definition of insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. If you know who you are from the right perspective (God’s perspective), you will have the confidence to deal with problems and issues when they come. Knowing your identity doesn’t eliminate problems. Rather, it helps you view problems from the right perspective. It helps guide your approach and ultimately influences the outcome.
If you are certain that you are loved no matter what, would that not influence your approach to things? Fear comes when there is judgment. If you are confident you will not be judged no matter what, you have the freedom to go ahead and do things (acting more boldly). Fear of judgement, whether real or perceived, is what stops you; that’s what builds anxiety and ultimately uncertainty.
“Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”
1 John 4:18 NLT
You are a product of God’s love, and God is not mad at you.
If He loved you enough to make the ultimate sacrifice of death, He is not only able but also willing to give you all things freely. So, no matter the situation you may find yourself, you have an advantage point. You have the word of God to discover who you really are and all of God’s promises to you. When you discover your identity, you gravitate towards that knowledge and certainty, and with knowledge comes freedom.
Please reach out if you need someone to agree with you in prayer for anything.
2 thoughts on “Dealing with Insecurity”
This is an awesome read on the source of insecurity. Thank you dear Kay .
I am really glad to hear that. Thank you for reading xx